Spirituality: Detachment, Connection, and the Divine Masculine and Feminine

This is obviously about relationships to other humans, particularly between the masculine and feminine, but in that same respect and more importantly, it is also about the relationship we have with Source Energy. Our entire lives are filled with relationships, they’re all about relationships actually. Relationships to our loved ones, our careers, our homes, the food we eat, even our own bodies. There is nothing that underpins any of our relationships more than that of connection and detachment. These ideas or abilities are also representative of the strengths that masculinity and femininity bring to the table. Masculinity’s core strength is detachment and femininity’s core strength is connection. Here’s why: masculinity is essentially the focusing mechanism of consciousness. It directs its focus at the feminine for her to take that focused energy and flesh it out into being, and therefore detaches from the outcome of that focus. It is for this reason that femininity’s strength is connection, for it is through her connection to the masculine that she can specify it into becoming a full-tale manifested idea. Both of these mechanisms, the focusing and the becoming, are present within each and every one of us.

Divine complement, rather than opposites attract, is the essence of all spirituality and of all healthy relationships. Detachment and connection is required for both.

Clearly, if anyone was completely masculine or feminine, or if they only embodied connection or detachment, their lives wouldn’t go too well. If they were only detached, only practicing the focusing mechanism, they would become single-pointed and disconnected from others almost completely. They would actually just become indifferent towards almost anything besides what they’re directing their focus on. If someone was purely connection and becoming based, they would most certainly be dependent on and attached to everyone around them and far too malleable to function. The masculine too becomes very dependent on others when not intigrating his ability to connect, but in a more back handed and manipulative way. In other words, everybody, no matter how masculine the male or feminine the female, integrates some of both. This is actually necessary so that the core strengths of either of these principles do not mutate into their exaggerated or forced forms.

The feminine’s exaggerated form, like mentioned before, is attachment. Attachment is practically being dependent on outcomes, especially the behavior of others, in order to feel good and to fully function and be happy. Well, as you can assume, this wouldn’t be a very happy feminine anyways. Yes, we all experience attachment throughout our lives and that is a representation of an inflated feminine principle and deflated masculine principle on any given subject. The masculine’s exaggerated strength of detachment becomes that of cold indifference, usually accompanied by a sort of complacency. We’ve all heard of the crazy nagging girlfriend and the cold distant boyfriend. Well, this is where that comes from actually. It’s just a lack of integrating the complementary energy within one’s self that makes this so out of balance in the individual and relationship sense. This is where we get the notion of the toxic, “opposites attract,” relationship - it’s just two people unwilling to integrate, but feeling that pull to do so in a codependent manor.

Of course, I am talking about the energy that radiates from these complementary principles when I speak of this. Yes, there can be more predominantly feminine males, regardless of sexuality, and more predominantly masculine females as well. This is an article on energy, fundamental principles of consciousness really. The reason we so commonly see this dynamic play out in relationships is because when we build a connection with someone, if we aren’t actively integrating the other complement, that strength gets exaggerated and mutates into these less-than-preferable forms. When we’re not in a relationship, we sort of have to because there’s no one else to depend on, or an externalized expression of the opposite complement. Now when we are integrating the complementary principle or energy, we aren’t as prone to become dependent and the souls can participate in a beautiful dance together. The strengths play off of each other and create a deep bond, while the strength of the other gets integrated. That’s sort of the essence of truly happy and harmonious relationships and where we get the effect of a complementary, "birds of a feather flock together," dynamic - they're flocking together in their integrated wholeness.

In other words, the feminine comes into her ability to truly connect fully through integrating detachment and the masculine does the same by integrating his ability to connect. We can not truly connect to other people if we are attached to and dependent on them, just like we can not really consistently create the life-experiences we desire if we are constantly attached to the outcome. At least without a lot of forcing, hard work, and/or manipulating going on. The same goes for if we’re only practicing detachment. We can’t truly experience detachment, that beautiful feeling of just knowing the outcome so deeply that its absence doesn’t bother us, nor truly allow another person to be through loving them as they are, unless we come to know that outcome and/or that love through connection. It is when we allow ourselves to consciously integrate the complement that the core strength experiences its full expression. This is the essence of, “divine union.” It's actually the essence of all spirituality: detachment and connection are fundamental strengths that are a part of all of our souls and life-expreinces.

So the woo-woo concept of divine masculine and divine feminine is actually relatively practical as you see. It’s provable in every day life experience and pretty simple, but it’s also so fundamental and all-encompassing. This is why when there isn’t conscious integration going on in one or both parties involved, there is always a lot of butting heads (that a lot of times gets pretty nasty). Truly, these complements want to love each other, they want to experience union. When they can’t however, it feels awful and therefore becomes awful. The essence of almost any toxic relationship really comes down to this lack of integration, and the essence of almost any healthy and life-giving relationship comes down to the willingness to consciously integrate these divine complements within one's self and the relationship.

From an individual perspective, the divine feminine is about a connection to one’s own Source and the divine masculine is about detachment from the outcomes that this Source inspires. So again, it is something that’s always about us as individuals at the heart of it. We don’t need to be in relationships to do this integration, but being in a relationship with the willingness to do so is oh-so-delicious. It is through our own willingness to connect to Source and to other humans, and yet practice detachment from the outcomes that this Source inspires, and from the becomings of those we have relationships with, that we can really create a wonderful life-experience for ourselves. This is how we truly learn to allow ourselves and others to be, as well as to create beautiful and dynamic relationships with those others, and with our divine counterparts.